Many years ago I wanted to dive into the subject of shaker trance. But life didn't let me do it, things came in between and led me to other paths of magick. Recently I've revisited the topic and I believe it's the right thing to explore for me now. I am crawling out of an abyss, which actually was a long period (more than a decade) of many personal catastrophes, including several diseases, which ended up in a chronic fatigue syndrom. During the last seven years (oh my, so long?) I recovered a bit. I am able to do my job for two or three hours a day, sometimes more if needed (always paying the price of being very exhausted afterwards), doing some daily housework, going for a walk and maybe doing some writing on my novel or reading in the forum, doing some research, whatever.
Yet I often have to lay down, maybe read a bit and get some sleep. If I am not too exhausted, I can go into trance and do some magick. Doing magick gives me more and more strength, my feelings become more flexible again, which is most important for me. During the worst times (I try not to go too much into detail here) I suffered from panic attacks and long periods of fear. What remained until today besides the permanent exhaustion are cramped groups of muscles. Of course I tried many things to recover, including light physical exercises. Doing sports is almost impossible though, not only because of being exhausted very fast, but also because the cramped muscle groups lead to pinched nerves and other reasons of pain, if I move too fiercely or in a wrong way.
About three weeks ago, while reading into 'Kali Kaula', I remembered the shivering and shaking I wanted to do (Jan Fries wrote a book about it which I've read back then, 'Seidways'). Of course I have to be very careful here. I've done some swaying and shivering while lying in bed or on my mattress in our living room. Right now it is about 85% shaking intentionally and 15% being shaken from the feelings flowing through my body. I am doing only very tiny movements, since I don't want to hurt myself, for about 30 to 45 minutes (time is flying while shivering ).
The experience is very nice so far, many feelings floating through my body, inducing a light, cheerful trance. I have the impression, that my mood becomes more stable now and yes, that I actually feel a bit stronger. I had two or three days, when I almost felt no need to lay down in the early afternoon. Yet I laid down and did some very soft shaking before having a nap anyway.
Some fears woke up and came back to me in the night. I tried to do some shivering and swaying to soothe them a bit, but this didn't really work. Still gathering experiences and learning to establish a carrying flow. My dreams react on the shivering too, they are not quite sure what to make out of it yet. One night I dreamt of snakes sliding up and down the wall of a very small room (like a sauna with my bed in it). I feared they could bite my mother who sat at one end of my bed near the wall. The other night I was on a small boat, which picked its way through gigantic waves. I trusted the captain and actually had some fun, while the ship was rolling and dancing on the water.
So yes, just making my first steps, just doing some shaking and swaying, feeling my feelings, meditating about my experiences without doing any further magick. Right now the pure experience is magick enough.
Does anyone here has some experience in shaker trance? I would love to read about it.