Hi guys,
I've been lurking for about a week combing huge chunks of information here. I don't know what got me back into the occult after 2 years in absentia, but long story short I've picked up NAP and hammering away a little too diligently for the last week.
I wanted to share my last few occult journal entries over the last 12 hours, because the weirdness seems to have suddenly hiked up from 2/10 to 8/10. All the doors and windows are shut in the house because we are in the middle of a freezing winter.
Without going into detail nitpicking the little things or explaning the backstory/buildup here are the entries:
20/7/2012 @ 3:36pm
I am feeling these breezes around my face ALL THE TIME. It's like I'm getting a playful massage from a cat made of cool air. I'm also getting tingling on the top of my head. Other unusual sensations are feeling like parts of my face are immersed in warm sludge, or feeling a sort of implosion 'pressure from the inside' on parts of my head.
7:14pm
(so the backstory is that I'd been meditating while in trance on some of the angelic names in the book (Elubatel & Arzel).
I walked out of my room with a video on my computer frozen.. I was sure this was the only light in the room. When I walked back in the LIGHT TURNED ON. I still doubt that this actually happened, though logically I know it did. The nagging doubt wants to deny and pave right over it!
I go back to my room and start meditating on bed again. Holding 'imaginary' conversations with Arzel and Elubatel (also Jazhair and Anael) in my head.. like faking it till I make it.
At one point I think the light flicked on but it could have been a car. I was having all the odd sensations described about plus one other one I experience.. involuntary muscle spasms or movements while in this sort of state.
A few moments later MY BED STARTED SHAKING. Again it's hard to say what objectively happened while deep in relaxation, but my mind was completely lucid, and it felt like an extremely strong earthquake was moving the bed physically. The name METATRON kind of came out of nowhere, but I'm not sure that this wasn't just my own mind pulling a name out of a hat. After the shaking I opened my eyes to try to confirm was was going on. When I closed them to try to reenter my state my eyelids were fluttering uncontrollably quickly. I don't want to bore you with too many of my concurrent 'bodily sensations'.
So I had a 'fake it till you make it' conversation with Elubatel and Arzel and showed that I was grateful for the experience. Before Elubatel left he said (or I said to myself) here's something else: and the rat (I think it's a rat?) who lives in the roof above me started scurrying around. Arzel left afterwards, before he did he said "watch this" and my tablet pc screen lit up as I opened my eyes for no apparent reason.
21/7/2012
Afterwards I meditated again to Point A at about 10:30pm last night. at 4:41 I woke up to what sounded like 2 isolated footsteps. I HEARD the turning doorknob (like something was trying to turn it but couldn't 'grip it') and the door partially open and then close. This could have been the person that lives with me, and I'll be able to confirm tomorrow morning. I didn't hear anyone walk off so I'm thinking this was general poltergeist activity. After I wake up I feel a presence stronger than earlier -- it feels vampiric, an oppressive silence, and hungry. Really oppressive atmosphere and the cool breezes I feel on my face are not playful but... well oppressive is the best word really. After hearing this I shift around in my bed and even though I'm under the covers with pyjamas AND thermals, I feel a cool breeze basically caressing my ass and like a 'ghost-finger' stroking the back of my arm. Haha I think I was ghost-sexually-assaulted. I also heard like vague moan from the heater vent which I never hear, and which had been off for at least 6 hours at the time.
Anyway that's it. I'm still feeling the breezes on my face at 5:50am while writing this.
I've tried to emphasise the physical perceptions rather than the subjective stuff because I'm really critical of my own experiences. Interestingly neither of the chants I've been working at have yet provided results after about a week.
Maybe someone can suggest how to be rid of 'unwanted' influences. I'm not terrified by the feeling as I was while a child, but it's annoying to have this intrusion to my mind/body by something that feels (for lack of a better word) oppressive.
Comments and questions are welcome. I'm probably going to take it easy for a little while.