Silenciumetaurum wrote:It would be crazy to hang my past troubles solely on the performance of a ritual.
*shrugs* I would tend to agree with you on this however I have known a few whose lives were otherwise okay then they did X and boom the proverbial hit the fan. So you take it as you see it or in this case prefer to believe it.
Silenciumetaurum wrote:However, I can say that I was living in Paris when I did the version presented in Gordon White's Chaos Protocols and my entire experience in the city took a massive turn for the worse. I lost the client (in my mundane job) who had brought me there. I had to move to a nasty basement apartment on short notice (since I was scheduled to be in Paris for up to a year). I got a really bad 3-week cold. There were some unpleasant family issues back in the USA blowing up my email in a way that gave me no rest. And I was suddenly forced to confront a lot of other problems in my life that I had been ignoring. I'm used to my magic feeling good, improving things pretty quickly, and teaching me in the process. This felt like hell, improved things slowly and at great cost, and did teach me things I needed to learn but in the most painful ways.
Holy Hand Grenades, Batman! Sorry to hear about the ton of crap that hit the fan on you, man. That had suck big time. Especially with the 3 week cold to just ad spite to the misery? Yeesh!
Silenciumetaurum wrote:So ultimately, it was good medicine. And it really did do what it is supposed to do (according to some authorities) by triggering a kind of internal initiation experience. I needed that on the highest levels, but I didn't need the grief that came with it (as if those two could have been separated). Still, the more authentic PGM version is not something I intend to do more than once every couple years, if that.
I performed the Liber Samekh full on right out of Crowley's book and it did absolutely squat. Not a damn thing happened. I was so disappointed. Bill Heidrick had told people how powerful this ritual was and it did etc, etc, yadda, yadda. So I thought in 1997, give it a try! Never hurts to shake up a world or three, right? I had hoped something would happen. Then later I think it was someone on Lorne Waddell's old Ritual Magic list in Yahoo Group's posted the Headless Rite from the PGM but I cannot remember who. That looked interesting. Thus I gave it a shot. Not even my hair stirred. Soooo I decided to try something with a wee bit more panache. I worked at a place that was built on old Native lands and it was an oddly shaped building which was also allegedly haunted by ghosts and spirits though I never experienced any. Our bathrooms were tiled floors and walls so sound just reverberated. We had 24/7 access to the building and I was friends with the night watchman, Ted, who was a former science teacher yet he had experienced ghosts first hand so he was now a believer and Ted knew about my occult views. So I told Ted if he heard any chanting or noises coming from the men's bathroom on the upstairs level that it was me not some spirit.
I vibrated the PGM's Headless One ritual and gods DAMN that set the hairs on the back of my neck on end! I had goose bumps on top of my skin, and I had a distinct feeling something was in the room with me but I didn't know what. Was I scared? Well yes to some degree yet I was fighting to remain actively in control mainly because I didn't know what IT was nor did IT really know WHO I was either. So I thought for a moment and remembered what an old Santero told me, "If a spirit shows up during a ritual that you didn't summon, give it a task and send it on it's way!" And that's what I did. I told it to go and do such and such by the next full moon (which was the end of the week) and immediately, like a balloon that popped, the feeling was gone. I was alone. I was sweating, breathing heavy and had not realized I was in this predicament. Oh I had my normal occult ritual accouterments with me such as my power bag and my staff but other than that, nothing. Didn't even draw a circle because at this time I wasn't using circles any longer as I figured if you're gonna run with the big dogs, you best learn to run with them.
In the short, the spirit did what it was told and believe it or not, IT came back to me a week or so after that. IT stopped outside the door of my office but would not enter for some odd reason. Someone had been murdered in this building in 1958 but not in my office that much I knew. So whatever IT was, IT seemed to be interested in me while I was still there. Once I left, I never felt ITs presence after.
My theory is that you need to find the key to unlock how a ritual affects you and when you do, be ready to give orders and snap attention. Because boy howdy there's nothing like it. I had shivers down my spine telling my wife and my best friend/student Vinny about it the next day. Something to be said for doing rituals in haunted places, eh?
Silenciumetaurum wrote:I invoke the NAP version almost every day and, even though it has a much smaller effect, it's more useful to me in the long run as an empowerment than a big cathartic ritual that will break things open and force me onto new paths. The big medicine should not be taken lightly.
Actually I think the NAP version is merely a reminder to the operator's higher self as well as the spirits s/he summons that you are in command and They need to pay heed for the time being. I don't believe Geoff intended for it to be anything other than that. I don't recommend folks to use it in place of the full on Headless One rite and I definitely do NOT recommend Liber Samekh which I find to be utterly and ridiculously useless.
Your mileage may vary.