Another add in the NAP journal. A rather intensive night!!!
6th day of performing NAP. The schedule was banishing, Point A. A little meditation, imagining the light and trying to move it in and out like in the fountain while trying to imagine the light in puce as the book says it’s the color of moon to attract what you want in the central pillar ritual. Bornless One ritual x3, meditation on the fountain and the color again, after invocation to Pagiel (to rekindle mates interest) x3, then tried to do the central pillar ritual (I had some success in visualizing the colored light but not much) :/ .Nothing to mention of trustworthy signs except a little freedom which I took to invoke once more Pagiel (this time in Greek) stating my purpose and my need in my own words pretty clearly. I don’t know the spells yet by heart so this was the only time that I closed my eyes and did a full invocation with my eyes closed. While stating my purpose, visualizing it and repeating the power words for Pagiel I felt at some point crazily intense in my body while praying. It was a feeling like a muscle around my pelvis region was very intense though I wasn’t putting any conscious force on any muscle. It was like no muscle was intense though the feeling of tension was there, strong and specific to the area. It was something very similar to the power waves I had felt but like 100 times more powerful and focused around the pelvic region. It ended up in a kind of physical delirium of really being almost completely loose (a feeling like falling apart in pieces) and semi-shaking. During this, my mind was clear, calm, and continued the prayer like nothing changed. Anyway, I was performing all the spells in English and almost with the exact wording of the book. I wanted to offer after some incense but apparently I had nothing in the house and it was too late to look for in the market so I took some olive leafs. I don’t know if it was a good choice but in the Orthodox church priests use it and in the Greek mythology for us it’s a symbol of success, virtue an honor to the peacemaker or the one who brings good for the people around him. So I thought that the worst could be it wouldn’t work at all… Anyway, I finished the ritual with the central pillar and I didn’t burn the incense since I couldn’t at that time. I promised though to do it as soon as I see the chance. For this I would use a simple metal box with glass walls which allegedly was made for candles. I would use for it a new candle (Nec influence) and decided that I would let it burn all with the olive leafs as a thanks to the spirits I invoked.
40 minutes later I found the chance to burn the candle but at a different place. I addressed it to their favor as a thanks for listening to me (though I was not convinced they heard me) and set it on. The olive leafs were almost all burned except some little pieces which fell in the melted candle. Then I prayed once again very intensively, focused and having my statement clear in my head to Pagiel in Greek. I felt a very gentle blow of the wind at the end of my spine. Like a gentle caress. The place I was is in general windy but for some reason I guessed it as a sign and asked the Spirits in general if it was a sign. In the next 5 minutes I felt again the same caress two times lasting some seconds… The weird is that that place has strong winds and this was a very little, very gentle, and very specific ally on the end of my spine.
After I took the candle without putting it off and took it back to the place where the ritual was performed. I put it aside to burn alone and started getting my mind off those things when the flame in the candle got unexpectedly strong. Apparently some of the pieces of olive leaf left in the candle came to the surface and set the whole liquid part of the candle on fire! I was watching it not scared but calm and concerned. I’m not sure if this was a doing of a spirit or if it was just random but I thought I should address to the thing as if it was caused by a spirit demanding to calm down since the rules in the human environment are different. I asked it to calmly communicate with me in peace. Not helping at all! The fire got stronger and stronger. Logically at some point the glass walls of the glass broke in pieces. Then I decided it was too much and put out the fire. Thick black smoke started coming out of it… I mean unreasonably black, unreasonably thick and unreasonably A LOT of smoke came out!!! This got me a little scared so I did a banishing after. This was my night in magick.
My question now is: Did I really experienced magick?? Did I successfully did magick? Did the spirits heard me??? Does anyone have any similar experiences?
Thanks again for tolerating my essay!!!