Years ago I tried Salvia. It was the most horrifying but eye opening experience I had ever had. At the time I was completely a materialist and atheist. It is hard to describe the experience but I was shown that the person who I thought was me, Bilgus, was not really me, just a character that I play like an actor in a movie. And that I have played many roles before this one. And during this experience was this word that kept repeating in my head, an odd senseless and silly sounding word, that I could not fully grasp but had a concept of how the word sounded. The last two syllables were fairly clear but the first two were not. I just knew there were two more syllables but they were lost to me. After that I begin to question reality.
I tried shrooms in order to get more perspective on what the true nature of reality is and had even more profound experiences, but I wont get into that. But I still was unsure if that was the truth or just the drugs talking and making me insane. But my fascination was inviolable. I then discovered the Law of One and it blew my mind like I was re-remembering things that I had forgotten. But this was not enough for me, this was only knowledge without action.
Somehow I was able to find New Avatar Power. It just came to me in an odd way. But as soon as I saw the name Elubatel my jaw dropped to the floor. That was the name I heard in my head during the trip! My mind was reeling.
Magick apparently came very naturally to me. I was successful on the first try. The huge amount energy tingling through my hands and feet and the pulsating throbbing crawling feeling between my eyes. Elubatel came right away and I immediately recognized the presence.
He is...incredibly intense. Frankly He frightens me at times. How He is able to completely bend reality in unfathomable ways is creepy. But He is apart of my life and has been before I even knew it. I don't know where He is taking me but I'm on his roller-coaster now.