Happy New Year everyone!
I’m not sure if this is the place to post this, if it’s wrong please move or delete it.
Well, I’m trying to build a base to put everything in order. I’m still reading and learning, so I have been doing meditation and visualization exercises daily, and also the mirrors from IIH to know myself. I’m happy with the results, I’m really enjoying it so much that I look forward to the few minutes I dedicate to it everyday. And I have a few things to share, that may be significant or not.
First, I can easily empty my mind, but lately when I do it, as soon as I have nothing in my mind I start feeling very hot, I even start sweating. And it’s cold here. I don’t do more than 15 minutes, starting from watching the thoughts pass and quickly going on to empty the mind so it’s not like I’m making a big effort. Is it normal?
A few days ago I tried to do it, but I had been partying the night before (holidays and such, the usual, didn't sleep much) so my head wasn’t feeling great. I closed my eyes and there were at once white and blue phosphenes chasing and floating to the right. Very pretty, I’m used to them appearing now and then since I can remember (that and tinnitus which is not so pretty at all). I tried to do my exercise anyway and at the moment when I emptied the mind the flow of phosphenes broke as if someone dropped oil in water (or the contrary idk) and in that kind of dark pool I saw red lines crossing fast in different directions and then an eye in front of me.
Of course I couldn’t keep the exercise. I had never had images appearing, it was different than a thought suddenly crossing the mind.
Visualization exercises are harder for me, but I never feel that hot even after many minutes. Apart from visualization exercises I have also been visualizing and focusing my will on more positive thoughts and desires, instead of wishing bad which always works for me, and as a result I got a position I applied for that I was almost sure I would not get because there were many people who were ahead of me. So although I don’t feel ready for invocations and most of the works I read about here in the forums (because I’m too ignorant and too fire-y), maybe I’m in the right path.