As I said earlier, I started studying Magick a few months ago but I did not get any results.
I first started with D M Kraig’s Modern Magick but could not pass the relaxation ritual. Although the book says that if you cannot visualize that is okay, you know that it (the ball of fire you are supposed to visualize) is there, but, according to the book, I was still supposed to feel my body filled with the warm, golden glow of peace and total relaxation which I didn’t
I then switch to Dubin’s Telecult Power but found that the thing with the cone of paper was totally ridiculous so I gave up and turn to Ferguson’s Psychic Telemetry but I could not go any further that Chapter one : the Guardian Genie creation. I created one to protect my house and my car for any threats. Either it did not work or the Genie, that I had created, played tricks on me since I found my car smashed up one day, and once repaired, it was visited, this time by some living souls ….
I then tried NAP, did not go ver far though. I find that, it was very disturbing for me to do the NAP ritual. First, because I have to read it and cannot really relax and concentrate when I am reading. I also need glasses and if I just arrange for a single light to shine gently over my shoulder, I can no longer see anything. So glasses and dim light are not helping me reading and then even though I could read ok, listening to my own voice is disturbing.
So my question as this point is do you know if there is any MP3 recording of the NAP ritual?. I know no one who could do it for me and I tend to keep those things quiet, people are often very narrow minded. Maybe one of you could send me an MP3 recording of the ritual, if it is not too much to ask?.
Then to continue, I also worked with Gray-Cobb’s Secrets from Beyond the Pyramids. It is said in the book, that just owing it brings luck. Talk about luck, since I have it and although I have constructed loads of paper pyramids, I have never had so much S… happening to me. It started with me being sick while I was in an hotel, I then had to extend my stay until I got better, so it was a bit pricey, it then continued with me being arrested as the Police mistook me someone else, although they said they were sorry I was still locked up for a few hors in a cell, then there was my car being damaged as related above, then I broke my camera, lost a pair of expensive sunglasses, my computer broke down, was expecting a check, but the person who owes me money refuses to pay me back, and so on. What’s next then ?
Although it is written in one of these books (NAP I think) that if the ritual is not performed well, it would just not work but it would not have any negative effect. So what am I doing wrong ? ?
If you have read up to here, I might as well ask what is exactly visualizing ? Is it just imagining or actually seing things like if I was looking at a real picture or a real life event?. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I actually see real images but only for 2 or 3 second and these are random images and I have no control over these visions. I cannot visualize a particular thing on command. Can you help with this ?
And finally, when I worked with the relaxation on Silva Method, and whenever it worked and I managed to relax, I jump out of it almost instantly and unwillingly just as if my body did not want me to relax and I always have something disturbing me, either it is my arm or my nose that needs scratching, or my legs or feet that need moving or I can hear the neighbor’s dog barking ...
If you have not fallen into a delta state after reading all this, can you help ? Please ?