in the past year I went through a spiritually quite exhausting time. I did a lot of sports, finished a diploma and in the end simply did a lot of work and wasted my spare time with examining European politics. I became quite fit, good settled and very active. But I simply did not do a lot of magickal work or even meditate.
Then I went through a crisis because I broke up with some friends, and realized, that "the buzzing" was missing in my life. I always had a vey good feeling of connectedness or being embedded in the universe and could feel the energy rushing over my skin and emanating from me. But this all was gone. I did not feel drained or exhaustet, but cut off.
So I decided to check on this forum again and have a look at the never grimoires, where I found NAP and the works of Damon Brand. I went for 72 Angels of Magick and combined the NAP Rite with the Middle Pillar Ritual and the evocation of Hariel out of Damon Brands work for regaining energy. I would like to share a little excerpt of the 11 days of evocing Hariel with you.
Here the short part out of my evocation that expressed my assignment. Damon Brand encourages to formulate a personal plea to the angel, that explains the feelings surrounding ones needs, that is why the second part involves my personal visions for my future:
I call on you, mighty HARIEL*, who brings peace into ones family, into the life of humans and raises ones magickal powers. It is my will, that I brim over with magickal might and energy. So I ask you to take heed in this task and aid me in floating over with magickal energy, that my magickal workings, rites an pathworking may become more easy to me.
Since the troublex with (name of the persons I broke up with) I feel emotionally and energetically burned out. Also my connection to the divine and the buzzing feel of energy is gone. If you aid me and raise and strenghen my magickal powers I will feel more whole and feel as a part of everything in the universe.
I pledge that I will also do exercises that will raise my energy level. Please be so kind and give ten percent of your aid to someone who needs it as well.
- Day 0: I did NAP rite and the MPR. It was not very exhausting to prepare the shem talisman and the seal of Hariel. But imagining those lightning strikes is quite particular.
- Day 1: Today I started with the evocation of HARIEL after doing NAP rite and MPR. My vision billowed and from the edge of my sight, the seal of HARIEL and the corner in the east were flashing.
- Day 2: I woke up at 4:44 in the morning and took it as a sign from Arzel or Hariel, because it seems, that those numbers are connected to angelic approval. I did again NAP + MPR and the HARIEL - evocation. The buzzing of energy was very strong. I got headaches.
- Day 3: NAP + MPR + evocation of HARIEL. My sight was very relaxed and I could sense the energies quite well.
- Day 4: NAP + MPR + evocation of HARIEL. I started to feel connected again quite well, and became a little more relaxed. It stood out to me, that I started to talk about magick with someone, that did also some practices in the past, but who also dropped it after getting too involved in daily life.
- Day 5: I was quite dizzy while performing NAP + MPR, because I did it after waking up in the morning. But while evocing HARIEL I got fully awake and clear in my mind.
- Day 6: NAP + MPR + Evocation of HARIEL. I was highly concentrated while evocing HARIEL and did see some sort of lense flare at his position in the east.
- Day 7: I had a lucid dream and was very near an astral projection. NAP + MPR + evocation of HARIEL. I feel very self-confident and extremely well and healthy. I have the feeling that everything is possible.
- Day 8: NAP + MPR + evocation of HARIEL. Today I rushed through this work. Everywhere in my study room I find little pieces of the filling of my meditation pillow. This may be a sign.
- Day 9: NAP + MPR + evocation of HARIEL. Today I was tired and half-hearted. But I think that I also was very relaxed, and that is okay. The results were still nice.
- Day 10: NAP + MPR + HARIEL evocation. In the end of my work I became very relaxed and saw some lights flickering and black dots swirling around.
- Day 11: NAP + MPR + HARIEL evocation. Final day, no exceptionel entries.
In retrospection I realize, that I tried to supplement the feeling of connectetness within myself through a very vast network of people. And yes, this can last for me for a while. But in the end the pull towards the great work and especially my need for being authentic and resting in myself is and was too strong that I can be satisfied with superficial involvement alone.
But ironically my competence to entertain other people grew expotentially with the return of my energy and connectedness. I started to experiment with some other stuff from the Magickal Gallery, but still practice my daily NAP and MPR.
It is nice, to be back.